Tracking? Who needs it. Battles? Lame! Trading? Unnecessary! What we players really need, and what we’ve been secretly longing for ever since the game came out, is a way for the in-game Team Leaders to make fun of our Penis.
And that’s exactly what we’ve got with the latest update to Pokémon GO.
Okay, so that’s not actually the intended function of this latest update. In reality, Niantic have implemented a way for us to gauge how strong our Pokémon really are by giving us a vague indication of how high our Pokémon’s IVs are, which they’ve called “appraising”
Taken from user “thenudedude” on Reddit (what an appropriate name!), when you click the “appraisal” button on a Pokémon, your respective Team Leader will appear on screen to give you some vital information about said Pokémon.
First, the Team Leader will comment on the Pokémon’s stats. We’re not sure what they say when the stats are bad, but if the stats are good, the Leader will say something along the lines of “Its stats are really strong! Impressive!”
After your team leader comments on the Pokémon’s stats, they then shift their attention to the size of the Pokémon. And, since it’s possible to give your Pokémon pretty much any nickname you can think of, this creates many possibilities for mischief.
Mischief, such as giving your Pokémon the nickname of “Penis” and having your Team Leader, Spark, insult you (to your face) about how tiny yours is. Yep. Spark has no chill.
The update is, officially, not even out yet. The Pokémon GO Facebook page announced that it was in the process of being released, but the vast majority of players around the world are unable to access it yet.
But for the lucky few who have managed to download and install the update ahead of the rest of us, you’ll be able to analyze your Pokémon, get some more face-to-face time with your Team Leaders, and, get insulted for having a small Penis.
What are your thoughts about this latest update? Were you hoping for more, or are you A-OK with what we’ve got? Let me know what you think in the comments section below.